Life Lessons...

I am a firm believer that most experiences in life are there to teach us something. Whether or not we choose to see and learn those lessons is up to us.

That said, Saturday night was full of life lessons for me. Here are but a few:

- When you're 34, you really can't still party like like you're 18. Or rather you can, but it hurts for a helluva lot longer afterwards.

- If the drinks start tasting like there's no alcohol in them, it's time to stop.

- When a much less drunk friend advises you to stop talking, you should probably listen.

- Loose lips sink ships (and really piss off husbands).

- If you reach the point in the evening when karaoke seems like the best idea ever! Then it's time to go home. Really.

Ah, well. Everyone needs to let loose now and again, don't they? Saturday night should be good until at least my 40th birthday.

Getting Organized

"Hi, My name is Kelly, and I'm a pack rat."

My hubby and I have had a goal for the last...eesh...3 years? To finally, once and for all, get organized. It's a daunting task, particularly when you both have pack-rat tendencies and two young children.

We've been working on it more than ever lately. I am feeling particularly motivated because I've realized how much time I spend doing housework. WAY more than I'd like. I'm realizing that the more organized and clutter-free we are, the more time I will have for other things, namely homeschooling, which, since Emma turned 5 in April, "officially" starts in September. I don't want to be distracted by the piles in our storage room, or be left unable to find those really great worksheets I printed off the week before.

I've given up on the idea that I'm ever going to be one of those uber-organized, super keen clean freaks. It's just not in my nature. And frankly, that's not the way I want to live. I like a certain amount chaos in my life...I find it strangely comforting. But I also hate spending hours and hours every week on unnecessary tasks as well. So it's a fine balance that I'm after.

Earlier this week I started rummaging through my kitchen cupboards to unload all those unnecessary things that I've had stashed away for far too long. Things like that travel coffee mug that's been missing it's lid since our last move 3 1/2 years ago; the casserole dish lid that doesn't have a matching dish; the storage containers with no lids, and the lids with no containers; the non-recyclable yogurt and margarine containers that were piling up and piling up, the extra components to the food processor that died a year and a half ago...the list goes on. I was ruthless. Anything without a practical purpose in my life right now, or in the immediate forseeable future, was removed. I still have a couple of cupboards left to go, but for the most part, I've made a lot of headway in terms of de-cluttering and getting organized...at least in one area of my house. Now to tackle the rest!

(And yes, honey, the basement is on the list of "Areas to De-Clutter and Organize", I promise. I'm making my way there, even if it's at a snail's pace. A 34 year disease of pack rat-ism and disorganization certainly isn't cured overnight. But I'm getting there, I promise!!)

5:30 am mantra...

This morning I was chanting in my head, "Hurts now, feels good later. Hurts now, feels good later. Hurts now, feels good later."

That's all it took for me to haul myself out. Again, 10 minutes after rising I was sooooo grateful that I had. I need to keep reminding myself in the wee morning hours that as soon as I get up for a little while, then I'll be fine.

This morning's run was a short one. My legs are feeling tired...I need a day or two off to just allow them to rest. I biked a bit yesterday, too, so that could be contributing to the muscle fatigue. In any case, for at least tomorrow, I'm taking a break from running. My legs deserve it.

And Sunday morning, I'm sucking pillow no matter what!

Another Early One

I really really REALLY wanted to suck pillow this morning. I haven't been getting to bed early enough, that's the problem. But I felt so fantastic all day yesterday after my early morning, that I knew I had to do it again.

I awoke at 5, and battled with myself until 5:30, at which time I crawled out, cursing myself all the way. "Damn early morning running, stupid morning person, idiotic sun coming through the crack in my curtain..."

As soon as I was dressed for my run, however, I felt okay. I changed up my iPod playlist last night with some new music (I can't divulge the details because it's WAY too embarassing!) and so I was actually looking forward to getting out there and trying out some new music. And it was good! It really motivated me to run faster and longer.

I love the early morning start to the day. It makes me feel so fresh and alive and motivated. Even though it sometimes really hurts, dragging my butt out of my warm and cozy bed, I am ALWAYS glad that I did it afterwards. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. I never regret getting up early.

Okay, okay, okay.....

Alright, now that it's a more human hour, I will admit that I'm actually GLAD that I hauled my arse out of bed joyfully got up at 5:15 am. It's amazing how much more positive I feel about my day after a good early morning run and a big fat cup of coffee (or two).

Of course, it certainly helps that the sun is shining, that's for sure.

It's a good day to be alive.

Ugh

Damn internal alarm clock.

Damn birds.

Damn love of running.

I really wanted to suck pillow this morning.............

I bought a guitar!

So a fact that only some people know about me is that I've wanted to play the guitar for a long time now. Possibly since high school, at least for the last 10 years. It's one of those things that I think about every now and again, wistfully, a "someday" kind of thought.

It's come up again recently, and my darling nagging persistent husband has been insisting that I take some "fun money" from our income tax refund and get myself a "beginner" guitar.

I've been sitting on the fence with it for a while. What if I stink? What if I don't follow through with it? What if I end up hating it? So many unknowns.

This morning I was out shopping alone and decided to take the plunge. Screw it. I don't want one of death bed regrets someday to be that I never took a chance on trying out the guitar. Maybe I will stink...but the only way to find that out is to go ahead and take the risk.

Good Morning World

Last night I was feeling ambitious and set my 'internal alarm' for 5:00 a.m. I did indeed wake up at five, but didn't really want to drag my butt out. It's going to take some time where I again reach the point where I bound out of bed at 5:00 am with a huge smile on my face. I huddled in bed until 5:20 and then dragged myself out.

I was out the door by 5:45, feeling a whole lot more like running after a banana and some vanilla soy milk. Yum!

It's the kind of day that doesn't particularly inspire me to run. Gray, foggy, humid...my skin was slick before I'd even completed the first kilometre. I'm hoping we'll get some of those bright and sunny early mornings again soon.

My legs felt like lead this morning...it was like I was running through water. I was feeling yesterday morning's run only in that way...just a tiredness in my muscles, reminding me that I'd pushed myself a little harder than I have been lately. I did my best to push on with my legs of lead...at that point, it's just a mental game. Grit your teeth and keep on pushing. Don't think about stopping or turning back.

Things that made me smile this morning:

- Tiptoeing out of my quiet house while my family was still sleeping.

- Running through the near-empty streets.

- Seeing my girlfriend out running too, and yelling "FREAK!" at one another.

- The 5 pound poodle that lunged and barked at me like it was going to tear me apart.

- Being greeted at the door by Emma with a "Mommy, I'm STARVING!"

Good morning World.

Smiling

I'm trying to re-instate my 'early bird' ways. Chris and I have been talking about this a lot the past few days, about how much happier I am when I get up early and go out running - or at the very least, get some early morning quiet time to myself.

I set my internal alarm for 5:30, and despite having a less than stellar night's sleep, I managed to haul myself out at 5:30 as planned. I got ready, did my regular online checks, ate a little something, and headed out the door.

Oh yeah...that's right...I love my early morning runs. Somehow, whenever I stop doing it for a time, I seem to forget that fact. Early morning runs fill me with such a sense of peace, and stillness...an opportunity to be alone with my thoughts, allow optimism about the day ahead to reign...Sure, running later in the day is still great, but for some reason it's just not the same...

...and now that I've started my day off right, I'm ready to tackle anything that comes my way...

One of those days....

I'm not sure if it's the gray, cold weather or what. But today is one of those days when I'm having a difficult time getting focused enough to get things done. I have a "to do" list about 15 items long, and absolutely no motivation to do any of it. I'd rather sit and sip coffee with a book while the girls play upstairs with their little friends.

I didn't make it out for a run this morning - the early morning thunder and lightening kept me inside, safe and cozy and warm between the blankies. I have the idea that if I'd been able to get out there, I would been feeling energetic and perky right now.

Alas, I am not.

I think I'll spend a little time with "Brad", make myself a HUGE cup of coffee, and then start tackling that list. Maybe motivation will fall out of the sky and hit me in the head.....

Another Week Begins....

I'm trying to stay focused on the important stuff this week, and not get caught up in the "shoulds", and sidetracked into those things that don't really matter.

Goals for this week:

1. Get back onto a regular running schedule

2. Successfully battle the laundry monster

3. Catch up on some sleep

4. Spend some fun time with the girls

5. Get some quiet time for myself.

6. Shave that other leg

We'll see how it goes. I'm about to hit the shower, so let's see if I can cross #6 off my list!

You know you need to slow down a little when....

...you're tying your shoes to go out, look down, and see that you forgot to shave *both* legs in the shower that morning.

Yes, folks, my left leg is soft and smooth, and my right one resembles a yeti my husband's.....

...But I went to the playground in capri pants anyhow... heh

Okay. Time to focus a little bit more.

The Speed of Life

I'm shocked these days at the rate that life is speeding by. It seems that one week begins, and before I know it, it's the weekend again. I have so many plans and ideas and goals and it seems as though life won't slow down enough for me to actually put any of these plans into action. I'm barely keeping up with the basic tasks of life, or so it would seem. I feel stressed a lot these days, trying to juggle all of the important things - spending time with my family, homeschooling the girls, co-op obligations, hanging out with friends, finding time for myself. It's a difficult balancing act. It always feels like somehow the scales are always tipped too far in one direction or another.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much life changes. It's easy when I'm in the middle of something, to assume that it's always going to be this way. Life, particularly life with children, is all about stages, and we never know how long those stages are going to last.

I think back to the days when Emma was an infant, those cuddly mornings when she and I would curl up in bed together after Chris had left in the morning, dozing off again and just enjoying the warmth and the relaxation. At the time it never occurred to me that days like those were limited in number, and so I should enjoy every single one of them.

I think about when Molly was a baby, all those late nights that I would fall asleep on the couch, watching television while she was breastfeeding. Or when she was a smiley, toothless little baby, determined to move under her own power.

All of those days are long gone.

We have some friends who are moving away. Neighbours, and another elderly couple that live a few blocks away. We're sad to see both of them go. It never really occurred to me that we should enjoy these people more while they were still in our lives. It's so easy to take things for granted.

I'm doing my best these days to enjoy more the joyful moments while I'm in the middle of them. Giggling with the girls over something silly. All four of us snuggling in bed together, tickling and teasing and having fun. Middle of the night snuggles from Molly when she makes her way into our bed. Teaching Emma to read. All of these are things that aren't going to last forever. Sure, our lives will morph into something else wonderful and fun and memorable, but the time we have right now is only fleeting....not here forever.

I need to enjoy it while it's here.

What day isn't made better with....

....a little Melissa Etheridge?

I'm a relatively new fan of hers...I "rediscovered" her in the last year or so...but every time I hear her music I think back to my university days with Steph and the gang...ah...good times. I could go for a little round of "I wanna eat chicken"....

This video makes me giggle...I believe it's 1988 - you can definitely tell from the hair.

Because I need the reminder today....

Things that make me happy:

(in no particular order)

- my hubby

- my girls

- my friends

- my family

- sunny days

- the smell of library books

- learning new things

- running

- swimming

- laughing until my sides ache and tears squeeze out of my eyes

- being silly

- gardening

- snuggling on the couch with my hubby watching a movie

- good organic dark chocolate

- Italian roast coffee

- having the birds wake me up early in the morning

- grinning until my cheeks hurt

- hanging out with friends

- avocado! yum!

- dandelions that have gone to seed

- hearing my girls giggle together

- writing

- discovering something new that I'm good at

- painted toenails

- the colour orange

- the smell of olive oil warming up in the pan

- being creative

- music in almost any form

- red wine

- dancing

- letting others know how special they are to me

- homeschooling

- the ocean

- daisies

- playing scrabble online

- laughing on the phone with my sister

- fun socks

- stationery

- being still

- singing

- monarch butterflies

- the Saturday morning farmer's market

- curling up with a good book

- having "tickle time" with Chris and the girls

- Google

- getting dressed up

- remembering who I am

- line-dried sheets

- hearing my hubby say "I love you"

- seeing the look of love in my hubby's eyes

- taking photos

- bad 80s movies

- road trips

- camping

- second hand clothes shopping

- making people laugh

- great dollar store finds

- funky mugs

- amber jewelery

- dancing in the rain

The Joys of Homeschooling

I've been having a few weeks lately where I can't believe I ever have times when I question our decision to homeschool. In the last couple of weeks, nothing has felt more right than this. I look at my 5 year old's vocabulary and enthusiasm for learning and it makes me smile to know that my husband and I are largely responsible for that.

The girls have been really interested in bugs lately. Yesterday Molly helped me garden. Our front flower bed is full of worms. She gathered up all the worms we could find (with her bare hands - no 'squeamish' girls in this family!) and then we dug a hole and put all the worms in there together. This was so, according to Molly, they could "play together".

We spent this past weekend at my mother's house in the country. The girls got to see their first June bug. They also had the opportunity to see (and play with) a snail, checking out it's parts and letting it "slime" them. They loved it!

I love the fact that, come September, when she would be starting public school, Emma won't be stuck in a classroom with a group of kids exactly her age. She won't be learning from the other little girls in her class that "bugs are yucky!" Instead, the three of us will be spending one of the best months of the Nova Scotian year, outside enjoying the weather and learning about whatever tickles our fancy. Thinking about that lately makes me so happy.

The Beauty in the Everyday

Last night I looked in the bathroom mirror and saw that I still had dandelion seeds littering my hair from rolling in the grass with my neighbour's 3-year-old twins two hours earlier. We spent a few minutes just giggling and rolling and blowing dandelion seeds all over the place.

I never realized how much I love dandelions until just this year, what with Molly's utter fascination with them. "Blowflowers" have such beauty...they seem so delicate and fragile, but it is in that fragility that their strength lies...their ability to float off to far off places on the gentlest of breezes.

I have been noticing dandelion seeds everywhere lately...clinging to my children's clothing, dancing along a kitchen chair from the breeze of my open door. I even spied one gracefully soaring through an open bus window today. Every time I see one, I smile to myself, happy that I am able to see the beauty and the metaphor in it. I always stop and smile, even if just to myself, and remind myself that this moment is an utter gift.

I'll never look at a field of dandelions the same way again.

Martha Who????

Yesterday I entered the world of bread baking. Now, to be fair, I didn't do the WHOLE thing myself. For my first attempt, I started by making the dough in my handy-dandy breadmaker. That thing gets so much use, we wear them out at about a rate of one per year.

Since I am a happy little stay at home mom, I figure that making my own bread is a task I'd like to conquer. I can add it to my "mommy resume", along with kissing boo-boos, making kick-ass banana bread, and successfully scaling "laundry mountain". The list is long, my friends...the list is long.

So I made the dough in the breadmaker. The ultimate goal, of course, is to do the whole thing from scratch, but I decided to start out easy for my first attempt. After letting the dough rise in the breadmaker once, I kneaded it out again, plunked it into the pan, and waited nervously for the second rising. Success! It rose without any trouble at all. I popped it into the oven and baked it, and it came out looking like this:



Beautiful! If I do say so myself. Now, the only thing left is the taste test, which will come today at lunchtime. I can only hope that it tastes as great as it looks!

Hmmmm.......

I don't know which sound is sweeter.....

The sound of my coffee grinder, preparing the beans.....

or....

The little gurgles coming from "Brad" to let me know that the coffee is ready and waiting for me....


Ahhh.........

A Child's Perspective

Yesterday was one of those days when I was feeling a little less than terrific. It wasn't one those horrible days when I can't imagine leaving the house and getting out into the world; it was simply a day when living took a little extra effort. I was more impatient. I had a difficult time seeing the good in things. My head was filled with a huge "to do" list of things that I wanted or needed to accomplish.

I walked with the girls to the grocery store and did our shopping. Emma always walks home, due to a loaded down bike trailer.

Emma became inspired to pick one of every different kind of wild flower that she spied on the way home. She found dandelions, violets, and a whole other collection of flowers that I can't even identify. She was pretty pleased with her findings. At first, I found myself feeling impatient, just wanting to get home and get some lunch and get on with my day. Then I tried to see things from her perspective. This was something she was really fascinated with. Who am I to deny her of such a simple pleasure? I took a deep breath, allowed myself to become immersed in the moment. I even helped her scope out the grassy areas on our walk so she could find as many flowers as possible.

Also on the walk, not far from home, is a small field, full of dandelions that have gone to seed (or "blow flowers" as my kids like to call them). They are Molly's obsession right now. She gleefully hopped out of the bike trailer and went nuts running through the field, seeds flying everywhere behind her. I forgot all about my empty stomach and drank in beauty of the moment.

I love how kids can become so absolutely absorbed in the moment like that. As Emma and Mo watched ants crawling along the sidewalk, that was the only thing in the world that existed for them. They weren't thinking about lunch, or watching a video in the afternoon or the fight they had that morning. They were completely and utterly consumed with watching the ants scurry on their way.

As I write this, they are outside, on a little patch of grass outside our dining room window, digging a hole, just for the fun of it. And I can tell you that nothing in this world is more important to either one of them right in this moment.

I have a lot to learn from those girls.

KT Tunstall - "I Want You Back"

I discovered KT Tunstall a couple of years ago, I really enjoy her music. Here she is performing my favourite Jackson 5 song. Seeing this woman play and sing really makes me want to learn how to play the guitar....