The Power of Genetics

It's amazing sometimes what a part genetics play in the creation of a person. I'm reminded of this constantly with my children, with the fact that Molly is SO much like Chris, and Emma is SO much like me. A perfect example of this happened the other day when we took the girls to the paint store to choose paint colours for their bedroom (that they share).

They've been talking for months and months about the colours that they wanted. Molly chose purple, her favourite colour, and Emma chose pink, her favourite. I recognize the fact that really, I had no business taking those children into the paint store and presenting them with the seemingly endless choices. It was one those moments when hindsight told me, "What in the HELL was I thinking???"

But I digress.

We walked into the paint store, and straight over the section with the coloured tabs. Molly paused for a second, pulled out a purple strip, and pointed to the middle shade. "I want that one". Done. Choice made. 30 seconds flat. That was a Daddy special. He sees something he likes, picks it, and never looks back.

Forty-five minutes later, I was on the floor with Emma, begging her to "please, just make a choice". She had gone from pink to yellow to green back to pink and maybe back to yellow, but was currently sitting with a lap full of pink colour strips. There were too many choices. We tried helping her eliminate some, but she couldn't cross off any possibilities. She wanted to know the name of every single colour. We suggested what we thought would look good with the "Lilac Bouquet" Molly had chosen. We threatened her with leaving.

Finally, finally, Emma took a final stroll back to the wall of colours and picked out a strip. "What's the name of this one?" "Cotton Candy Pink". "I think I want that one." God bless her. We didn't give her a moment to change her mind, we had the paint store dude start making up the colour right away. But leave it to her to choose a colour based on the name. That's totally something like I would do.

Oh and yeah. You're probably wondering how "Lilac Bouquet" and "Cotton Candy Pink" look together. Well, it certainly wouldn't be *my* choice in colours, but it's perfectly fine for a little girl's bedroom - particularly two little girls who love princesses and dressing up. Besides. That's what I get for letting them choose, right?

Remember when....?

Remember when life was simple?

I look at my girls sometimes and think, "you think that scrape on the side of your leg is the end of the world? Honey, you have NO IDEA....."

Of course, I wouldn't say that out loud. I want them to remain young and innocent and naive for as long as possible. Because I'd go back to that spot in a second if I could. The problem with being a kid is that you aren't able to truly appreciate it until it's all over.

Now, I have no illusions that life is supposed to be easy. I know that it's hard work. At least if you're doing things right. But at what point do you stop and say, "Enough is enough"? At what point do you accept the limitations on your life, and go in a different direction?

Dammit I wish I could throw a temper tantrum right now. That might make me feel worlds better.

Don't laugh. Works for my three year old, doesn't it?

This night is filled with longing.....

I feel a longing tonight to write something brilliant and mind-shattering.
But I don't have it in me.


I feel a longing to experience complete and utter contentment and happiness.
But it's been so long since I felt those things that I'm not sure if it's possible any more.


I feel a longing to be me.
But I don't know who that is any more.


I feel a longing to figure life out, once and for all.
But I don't think that the answers are out there.

Things I love

Here are some things that I love (in no particular order)....

I love:

Coffee with lots of cream and sugar.

Dark organic chocolate.

Swimming in the ocean.

Reading blogs.

Long runs.

Sunrises.

Sunsets.

Thrift store shopping.

The colour orange.

Houseplants.

Sunshine!

The smell of raindrops on hot concrete.

Professional massages.

Sappy movies.

Happy emails.

Singing loudly to the radio.

Dancing in the rain.

Laughing until tears pour out of my eyes.

Curling up with a really good book.

Youtube.

Silence.

Napping.

It's Official.....

We are officially "homeschoolers".

I received confirmation in the mail today that my homeschooling registration for Emma has been received and accepted. Wow. On the one hand, it feels like a big deal, but on the other...it's life as usual in our house, for the most part.

I tried explaining recently to a friend of mine (who has no children of her own) about homeschooling, and how it's not really just about educating your children, but it's a whole philosophy of life. Homeschooling encompasses so many aspects of our lives. It's a way of life.

I understand that this way of life may not be for everyone, but I am glad that it is the path that we have chosen. I'm really excited to be here, "officially"....

This Week

It's been an exhausting week this week for some reason.

Lots of things to do.

Lots of things on my mind.

I tried getting out for a run this morning but only made it a short way before I came back home. I actually crawled into bed an went back to sleep for another hour and a half. I needed it, but I still feel like I could sleep even more.

I haven't fired up the coffee pot yet. That's on my list of things to do, for sure. But that's just a band-aid to the bigger problem, now isn't it?

Well...some days, all you've got is a band-aid. Better make sure it sticks.

It's Coming....

I can feel it in the air.

Fall.

It's been there for a while now, starting slowly, with a small hint in the air. It's undeniable now. There's no turning back. Sure, we'll still have lots of warm and sunny days, but this time of year never feels the same as early summer. There's a difference there that you can't ignore.

This is the time of year that always makes me think of new clothes and fresh notebooks and new pens. Fresh beginnings. It's the time of year when I want to start new projects, when I feel my most energetic and ready to take on the world. It goes back to school days, when September is the true beginning of the year.

This year I'm approaching fall with mixed feelings. I have my usual energy and enthusiasm, which is good. I've been making plans for Miss Emma's first year of homeschooling, and I'm looking forward to it. I love the beautiful fall colours and running in the crisp mornings.

There's a twinge of sadness there, too, at the lightening-speed passage of time and the fact that winter is hurtling toward us once again. It feels like we just got rid of the warm socks and winter books and heavy coats. I'm not ready for that yet.

I also don't feel ready for how quickly my girls are growing up. It's happening before my very eyes. Some days I look at them and my heart is screaming, "Slow down! Stay like this a little while longer!!!" But yet time marches on, and I'm powerless to slow it down. All I can do is enjoy those little moments while I'm in them, and hug my memories close to me. I'm thankful that I have so many wonderful ones.

Parenting Lesson # 2

Well, I had this one coming, that's for sure.

Parenting Lesson #2

Past mistakes are learning opportunities. Use them well.

Sadly, once again, it all comes back to a three-year old's underpants.

Last week, my girlfriend and I made plans to take our kids on the bus to the library. I was running behind, as usual. The plan was that I would catch the bus by my house, and then she would catch it by hers, just a little further down the street.

Our plan was a bit impromptu, and so that meant lots of rushing around to gather up library books, snacks, drinks, etc. It was one of those days when I certainly didn't have it all together. But that okay. Those days are the norm around this place.

I barked out orders to the girls to ensure that they got dressed and brushed their hair and got their shoes on. My husband ran outside and up to the street in his underpants to help me get everything carried up. I threw the back of books over my back and we ran for the bus.

We made it. With literally seconds to spare. Whew.

We got on the bus, with me breathing a HUUUUUGE sigh of relief. Okay. I can do this.

Further down the route a huge group of day camp kids got on the bus. To make more space, I slid Molly up onto my lap. That's when I realized. The kid had nothing on underneath her skirt.

Again.

Remember that promise I made to myself? Do you think I actually learned from that lesson?

Of course I didn't. There were no spare panties in my purse, as I'd promised myself I'd do, for just such instances.

Mild panic ensued. Molly's skirt was so short that it barely covered her bum with undies, let alone without. My mommy resourcefulness went into action and I came up with a plan.

We made it to the library and I took the girls into the washroom. Miss Emma, who is much more modest about displaying her - ahem - "girl parts", happened to be wearing a nice long dress. We whipped off Emma's undies and slipped them onto Molly. Not the most ideal solution, but at least it kept everyone decently covered.

And you know what? I still haven't put that extra pair of panties in my purse. I think I'm going to go do that right now.

The Messes They Make....

A while ago, I decided that, in my quest to simplify my life, I would attempt to make keeping the house clean and tidy easier by shuttling most of the girl's toys upstairs to their room. Now, I knew this meant that their room would likely suffer for it, but since it's not what I consider part of our "public space" I was willing to make the sacrifice. I hate tripping over toys on my way to answer the door when a neighbour drops by unexpectedly, you know? On top of that, what with "officially" starting our homeschooling, I wanted to make my chore list as short as possible, freeing up extra time for more fun and learning.

Looking around at the current mess in my downstairs, I am realizing something very important. The size of the mess actually has very little to do with the NUMBER of toys involved. There may be less things to throw around the downstairs, but all they do is take what IS available, and make an even bigger mess with it. Really, I wonder how that's possible? And yet, looking around my house right now, I absolutely can not deny it.

*sigh*

Guess it's time to start cleaning.

Again.

This morning

I had a good run this morning, the best I've had in a while in fact.

I've still been running, despite not really blogging about it, but the truth is that I haven't been tackling my running with the same enthusiasm that I once did. I guess it's only natural that there are rhythms and patterns to things like this. I feel like I may be getting myself back on track again, at least for a while.

Again I seemed to forget the joy that comes with a particularly satisfying run. I've been looking at it more as a "chore", something I know that I should do, for any number of reasons. In doing that, I'd forgotten the joy that is to be had in it. While the reasons I run are many, the reason I keep running is for the joy that it brings me.

As I sit here, enjoying the happy hum of muscles that have been challenged, it's easy to remember that joy. I just have to keep carrying that with me.

A New Favourite...

Just wanted to share a new favourite song with everyone. :)

Precious Moment

Just a few minutes ago I overheard a conversation between Chris and Emma. Emma lately has been obsessed with bouncing my big purple yoga ball as many times in a row as she can.

"Daddy, I want to have the world's record for bouncing a ball the most times."

A quick google search later, Chris broke Emma the bad news.

"Honey, you'd have to bounce it over 70 thousand times."

Pause.

"Okay. Well I'll bounce, and you can count."



Ah, kids. I wish we all had that much confidence in ourselves.