It's been almost one week since your lovely wife found me at Value Village amongst the old lady bags and ratty 80s throwbacks. It was love at first sight for the both of us - I knew as soon as I laid eyes on her that we were well suited for one another; it was a match made in heaven. I knew that she would be just the kind of owner who would treat me as I so desperately deserved.
Now, one week later, it would appear that I may have been mistaken.
This simply just won't do! My talents and my beauty are being squandered in this type of environment. I'm not being allowed to thrive and show off my beauty and my usefulness.
Now honestly, I realize that it's not really your wife's fault. She's a stay at home mom after all, and there are few places that she can take me out to. I'm a high maintenance kind of purse; I need to be taken to nice restaurants, or at the very least a movie. I'm not the kind of bag that can be crammed into a backpack and lugged along to the library or the playground.
This is more of the kind of environment that I thrive in:
If I may be so bold, Chris, allow me to take this time to remind you that both Mother's Day AND your wife's birthday are coming up in just a couple of weeks. Both of these are perfect opportunities for your wife to take me on the kind of outing that I so desperately crave, and dare I say it, deserve.
I beg of you, please don't allow me to collect any more dust than I already have.
2 comments:
Ha ha ha!! Excellent.
Does the purse have an English accent? Because that's how I read that.
Haha! Mel, you're right, an English accent does work for that purse.
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