The Socialization Rant

Well, I promised y'all a rant, and apparently, I'm in a ranting mood this morning.

Socialization. As I mentioned before, as a homeschooler, this is a word that comes up more often than I'd like. Lots of people who didn't, don't, and never will homeschool their kids like to bring this up as an argument against homeschooling.

As a homeschooler, socialization is one of my arguments for homeschooling.

I looked up the definition of 'socialization' on dictionary.com. It reads: "a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position."

So basically what we're talking about (in a school setting) is the concept of kids looking to other kids their own age to figure out what is socially acceptable behaviour. Now, I've got nothing against other people's kids per se, but do I really want my five year old learning their social cues from other five year olds?

I don't think so.

I hate to say it, but kids are obnoxious. Spend any amount of time with a group of kids all the same age and it will become painfully clear. Mob mentality and all that.

In school, kids spend the majority of their time with other kids exactly their own age. Beyond that, particularly in the younger grades, they even separate off by gender as well. That means that at five, my daughter would probably be learning things like boys are yucky, princesses are the best thing ever, and my parents don't know shit. The teacher provides a bit of an adult reality check, but really, how effective is that in a room where the kid-to-adult ratio is, at best, 20 to 1?

In a homeschooling situation, my child is exposed to people of all ages. Instead of being trapped in a classroom all day long, learning how to take in information and spit it back out in a socially acceptable way, and interact only with those kids exactly her own age, she is learning about life. She's learning how to interact in the real world, which is full of seniors and babies and people of all ages in between, not just other five year olds. I'm happy to report that my oldest daughter has no preconceived notions that she can (and should) only play with other five year old little girls. She has friends of all ages - her birthday parties with demonstrate this, with almost as many adult invitees as children. She has plenty of exposure to adults, who, I daresay, are a teensy bit better equipped to demonstrate socially acceptable norms than other kids her age.

I like the fact that, as a homeschooler, my kids are going to be taught to think like themselves, not exactly like kids her own age. Sure, she's going to get exposure to groups of kids her age, but that's not going to be her major social education. Those experiences are going to be balanced with a heavy dose of interaction with adults and other children of all ages. Because let's face it, after we're out of school, when are we ever exposed to large groups of people exactly our own ages?

Oh yeah, that's right - I forgot, we aren't. Just another example of where the school system fails us.