Parenting Lesson # 1

I've been thinking today how, as parents, we all learn so much from the experience. I figured it might be a good idea to chronicle some of the lessons that I learn along the way, based on my own experiences. You know, for future reference. And who knows -- I might just save a few of my fellow parents the pain and humiliation of learning some of these same lessons the hard way.

Parenting Lesson # 1

NEVER assume that you've got your act together. Because the very moment you do, the universe will find a way to laugh in your face.


This morning I came with the hairbrained lovely idea of taking the girls downtown on the bus, across the harbour on the ferry, to the library. It was a lovely day for a ferry ride after all, and we hadn't been to the library in a while; it had been a year since we'd been to this particular branch. Brilliant plan! I am a genius!

Today was one of those rare days when I was pretty well-organized. I made a mental list and checked things off. Items to return, check. Water, check. Sunscreen, check. Hats, check. Library cards, check. Bus fare, check. Snacks, check. Yep, for once, I had it all. I'd even made sure that everyone had gone to the bathroom beforehand and that we'd left the house for the bus stop in plenty of time. Oh yeah, baby. I had my act together. No doubt about it.

However, one rather crucial item I'd forgotten on that mental list was "panty check". Mo has loved going commando ever since she was potty trained last summer. In fact, she rarely wears underwear at all. She also has a deep and profound love of wearing skirts and dresses, when she wears anything at all. Around the house, it's no big deal. Hell, even on a playdate with friends, I could really care less if my 3 year old's dress flaps up in the wind to reveal her sun-kissed butt cheeks. In fact, Molly has one little friend that routinely joins her in stripping from the waist down so they can jump on the couch together. But bare-assed on public transit? I don't think so.

We were waiting at the bus stop and I was sunscreening the girls when I happened to pat Molly on the butt to discover no panty line. Eeesh.

"Honey, are you wearing undies?"

She giggled, grinning from ear to ear. "Nope." She'd pulled one over on me. She hates wearing underwear.

Ah, crap. I considered my options for a moment. It was too late to run home and grab some. If we missed this bus it would be another half hour until the next one, and the morning was already wearing on. Screw it. Her dress was long enough that it shouldn't be much of a problem. I decided to chance it.

Mostly, it was fine. I did observe that she liked crouching down on the ferry to feel the breeze blow up her dress. Heh. That's something I'd almost like to try for myself. I'm sure it's quite a free and refreshing sensation. We did run into a bit of trouble on the bus on the way home, when Molly sat back in her seat and threw her legs up in the air, squealing and giggling. I quickly yanked her dress down over her knees, but not before the lady across the aisle got a good gander and then shot me a disgusted look.

Jeez, woman, she's three! Haven't you ever known a three year old with nudist tendencies? Hell, I might be good, but even supermoms like me fumble the ball now and again. Heh.

Sigh.

Some days I'm pretty convinced that I've got this parenting thing all under control. I've got the world by the ass, baby! Other days? It's abundantly clear that even after 5 years, and two kids, I still don't know shit from shinola.

But at least I now know to always keep an extra pair of undies in my purse.