Happiness....

After a talk with C tonight, I've realized that I've been spending my life sitting and waiting for happiness to fall into my lap.

Guess what? It hasn't.

Choices have been made, things that can't be un-done. I can only move forward now, not back. I thought about how I have been moving forward for the last several months, but it's always been with my head turned, looking over my shoulder at what was, or could have been, had different choices been made.

Geez. No wonder my neck hurts, looking backwards all the time like that. heh.

But I digress. The point here is that happiness isn't going to magically fall into my lap. It particularly isn't going to happen if I constantly question myself and my decisions. I can't go back to the way things were. The life I had, or had once envisioned for myself, is gone; C has completely confirmed that for me tonight.

The funny thing is, even though there is some sadness about that, most of me just feels free. There is no "Option B". All I have is Option A and dammit, I'm going to move forward with a smile on my face.

Life is too short to spend it unhappy.