Wonderful Moment....

Last night I had one of those moments as a mom that made all the difficult days, spilled tears, worry and weakened patience worth it.

I was putting Miss E to bed. The routine goes that she hangs out in my room, reading books and playing quietly until Mo is asleep and then she goes into her own bed (they share a room). I laid in my bed with E, reading a book. When the book was finished, we snuggled down under the blankets and just started chatting and laughing away.

That kid reminds me so much of myself sometimes - the pure, fun-loving and unself-conscious part of me, that I don't let out to play often enough. The part of me that went into hiding for a very long time.

At one point, she and I laughed uncontrollably in each other's faces. I looked at her and it was like looking into a mirror...I knew that the pure joy on her face echoed mine in that moment. I told her the story about me wetting my pants laughing when I was 16 and we laughed even harder. It was a beautiful moment.

Then the laughter died down and she said, "I'm going to school next year." (Her dad and I had mentioned this fact to her already).

"Yes." I told her. E is extremely emotionally intelligent and VERY articulate. It's a good combination, but sometimes I never know what's going to come out of that kid's mouth. She's good at surprising me.

"I'm a little nervous about that, Mommy."

Because E is so emotionally in tune with herself, I find myself telling her things that I might not say to the average 5 year old.

"Well, honey, I understand that you're feeling nervous, and that's okay. But I want to tell you something special about you. Not everyone has this ability, but you're the kind of person who will be okay no matter what happens to you in life. You will do well at school, try not to worry."

She looked at me with twinkling eyes and gave me a huge hug. "You're a good mommy."

On my way downstairs I thought about my words and what I'd said to her...this little person who is, in so many ways, so much like me. She WILL be okay, no matter where life takes her. She'll be more than okay, in fact - she will flourish. Because she's just that kind of person, as long as she doesn't lose faith in herself...and I'll go to great lengths to make sure that doesn't happen.

And you know what? If she will be okay...then that means that I will be, too. I just have to have faith in myself as well. And I guess, if I can't do it for myself...then maybe I can do it to give my daughter an example of what it's like to live a life of courage and belief in oneself. It's not easy...but I think I can do it for her.