As I head off to bed...

As I head off to bed tonight, I can't help but think of this lyric:

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

I've been very afraid lately of someone in my life being reckless with *my* heart. Have patience with me, please. It's hard to let go of the fear and allow myself to fall, even if I'm falling into something good. Because it does feel good...and I guess that's what scares me so much.

There's always this voice warning me that I could be falling into something bad. It's the same voice that taught me that my own judgment is faulty... and continues to tell me that many days. It's difficult to distinguish between the voices in my head - so many of them telling me different things. None of them agree.

It's hard to tell which of those is genuinely mine, the voice that will comfort me and guide me and take me to good places. I hear her sometimes...but then it gets drowned out. She needs to build strength and gain confidence in herself.

I'm doing my best. I'm feeling the fear and going forward anyway.

"Do one thing every day that scares you."

I'm there. Every day it scares me.

Please don't be reckless with my heart. I'm not being reckless with yours.