My Inner Voice

At the ripe old age of 34 I'm still learning how to trust my inner voice. You know what voice I'm talking about - the one that guides you, the one that tells you what is best for you in your life.

I was taught, both implicitly and explicity, that my own voice was faulty. That other people were better equipped to tell me what I should do, how I should live...sometimes even what I should think or believe.

And I did it. I went along with it. I went in the direction that others wanted me to. Sometimes I even went in the direction that I *thought* others wanted me to go in.

My whole life has been about pleasing others. Making myself acceptable to others.

I'm done with that.

I know that this may cause some problems in some of my relationships, as I no longer bend to other people's wills. As I no longer work to make myself acceptable in the eyes of others. Hopefully we will be able to overcome the bumps in the road and find a new comfort zone. There's nothing shockingly different about the "real me" - but it's still different. And different isn't always comfortable....for me, or for anyone else.

But...the thing is...when I am very still and listen closely to that voice inside of me...I can feel that I am going in the right direction, no matter how much it scares the crap out of me.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. Easier said than done, some days. But I'm trying...and I guess that's all that any of us really *can* do...