I spent the afternoon de-cluttering and organizing. I got rid of a lot of "stuff" that's just been taking up space...put things back where they belonged, went through my email inbox and cleared hundreds of emails out of there...hell, I even scrubbed out my microwave.
It feels good to get some "practical" things done. I feel like a big part of my life is on hold right now...I'm sitting here feeling helpless, waiting for the ball to get rolling. I am applying for jobs, so that feels good, but now I sit and wait to hear back. Until I actually land a job, then I can't move forward with other details like securing child care for the girls, and finding a place to live, blah blah blah.
I'm feeling frustrated with this lack of movement in my life. I guess I'm in a place right now where I've made my decision, and I just want to start moving forward with things. I want to start building my new life. This "stuck in the middle" stuff is really weighing down on me.
I guess I need to cut myself some slack, and recognize that some things, particularly things like this, take time.
Sometimes I feel like I'm spending my whole life either missing things from the past, or looking ahead to the future. Living in the "now", and appreciating what I have, is the most difficult thing for me.
This, like so many things, I am working on. Maybe I always will be.
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