Being Thankful

It's a challenge sometimes, particularly these days, to focus on the things in my life that I have to be thankful for.

Last night I found out that I have some very dear friends, and I am very thankfull for them.

I am thankful for my girls, first and foremost. Always. I haven't been the best mommy to them in the last year or so. I'm working on it, though.

Come to think of it, I haven't been the best Kelly this last year or so. I'm working on that one, too.

It's funny how going through a crisis can really help make the world seem a lot clearer in some ways. I've been to the darkest point in my life. I've emptied myself out emotionally. Now it's time to fill it up with good things. I know that there's lots of good stuff, there, too. Sometimes it's hard to sift through it all when the bad stuff keeps trying to press in.

I will work on making the negative stuff melt away. Negative thoughts, negative memories, negative people. Life is too short to have it filled up with all those things.

I've said it before and I will repeat it again: the only thing I can control is me. Others will make their own choices. And while I can be disappointed in those choices, I refuse to take responsibility for them. How others choose to conduct themselves is not my fault.

The good news is that I have some wonderful people in my life who are making other choices. Loving choices. No, its no always easy - for any of us. Since when is life easy, anyhow?

Most of all, tonight, I am thankful for this bit of clarity. It's like a bright candle flickering in an otherwise dark room.