It's late...way later than I should be up. I've been talking with T for most of the evening. It's weird, but, as time goes on, I feel more confused and conflicted and messed up about the T/H situation. I thought that as time went on I would feel more settled, more able to point myself in one direction or another...but I'm not.
It's not getting any easier here, folks. It's not cut-and-dried, black-and-white...it's a huge messed up pile of festering garbage and the loudest voice in the back of my head is the one telling me that it's all MY fault.
Of course it is.
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you always seem to be putting an intense amount of pressure on yourself...
i do it too sometimes...
and it is emotionally exhausting...
i turn to buddhism to help me rest...
how do you rest your mind?
is that what jogging does? or the bible?
or writing?
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