Trust

Goddammit.

Just when I thought that I was feeling great, my "trust issues" flare up.

Is it really so hard to believe that a really great guy would just simply be interested in me, and leave it at that? Was it really necessary to go "digging", looking for whatever I could find to cause me reason to doubt him and us?

I guess a part of me felt that it WAS necessary. And well, you can hold pretty much anything against someone if you really want to, huh?

I have a hard time believing in the good when it's happening to me.

I still don't believe in my in my own worth.

I still spend much of days waiting for the bottom to fall out.

I still look at my own happiness with a suspicious eye. In fact, sometimes I even actively sabotage my own happiness.



When am I going to feel worthy?