Today's Thoughts...

So far today's going pretty well. No nightmares last night (I had the phone ready and waiting by my bed in case I needed it...). I woke up feeling fairly rested. I managed to get out there today for a nice little run...it's a glorious day out there.

I got to do a lot of thinking, which is something that I desperately needed.

I thought about running. I decided to commit myself to running the half marathon this coming May. Having a definite goal is good for me to keep me on track with running. I need to run to stay sane...and I'm not always that great at doing it as often as I should...so hopefully having the Bluenose Marathon looming in my face will be just the inspiration that I need. It'll be my 35th birthday present to myself.

Wow....did I really say 35? Holy shit.

In other news...I did some more processing while I was out...about me and my life over the last year and a half or so. Specifically the impact of the death of a certain family member, and how that seemed to be the catalyst for where I've ended up in my life right now. It's interesting...I expected it to be a big deal when it happened, but at the time I couldn't see it. I guess I expected a huge epiphany right in the moment, but rather it took a long time to unfold ...and it's only now that much of it is making sense to me.

The good news is...it's all good. I'm figuring it out, I'm making sense of it all. Even better is that I'm actively making changes that reflect these realizations. In the past I used to believe that just making the realization was enough...but now I know that there's more required...I need to actually change based on those epiphanies...even if the changes are just in my own thought process, beliefs or attitudes.

I'm moving forward.

New beginnings....better memories....better life....better Mama S.